12 Traits of a Narcissist – In this article, I’ll explore the 12 Traits of a Narcissist and provide actionable steps to identify these behaviors. So, let’s dive in and uncover what makes a narcissist tick!
Narcissism isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a serious personality trait that can have profound effects on relationships. Did you know that around 1% of the general population is diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?
This might sound small, but considering the broader spectrum of narcissistic traits, the numbers are much higher. Being able to identify these traits can save you from a lot of emotional turmoil and help you navigate relationships more effectively.
1. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Excessive Need for Admiration
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Narcissists crave admiration like plants crave sunlight. They need constant validation and praise to feel good about themselves. Narcissists are often charming and charismatic at first, drawing people in with their magnetic personalities.
They shower you with compliments and attention, making you feel incredibly special. However, over time, this excessive admiration-seeking can become draining as they demand more and more from you. On social media, narcissists meticulously curate their presence to appear perfect, posting frequently and seeking likes, comments, and shares as a form of validation.
They often compare their lives to others, leading to jealousy and competition. In conversations, narcissists often revolve around their achievements and experiences, frequently interrupting others and showing little interest in others’ stories or feelings.
In the workplace, narcissists often take credit for others’ work, crave praise and recognition from colleagues and superiors, and may undermine others to make themselves look better. In romantic relationships, they idealize their partners at first, creating a fairy tale romance, but over time, they may become critical and demanding, creating a cycle of emotional abuse.
2. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Lack of Empathy
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Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Narcissists, however, often lack this crucial trait. They may make hurtful comments without realizing their impact, dismiss others’ feelings as unimportant, and struggle to provide emotional support to others.
Narcissists often manipulate others into doubting their own experiences and feelings, deflect responsibility for their actions onto others, and use emotions to manipulate and control others. Their relationships often lack depth and genuine connection, they may take advantage of friends without giving back, and they avoid dealing with emotional conflicts, leaving issues unresolved.
Narcissists may show favoritism among family members, creating tension, and they are often unsupportive of family members’ emotional needs, trying to control family decisions and dynamics. In times of crisis, their responses often focus on themselves, they struggle to comfort others in difficult times, and they may avoid emotionally charged situations altogether.
3. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Grandiosity
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Grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority, believing oneself to be better than others. Narcissists often exaggerate their accomplishments, feel entitled to special treatment and privileges, and display arrogance that can be off-putting to others.
In their professional lives, they may aggressively climb the career ladder, often stepping on others, their leadership can be domineering and dismissive of others’ input, and they constantly seek recognition and accolades.
In personal relationships, narcissists impose high expectations on others, rarely admit mistakes or show humility, and associate with people they believe can elevate their status. At social gatherings, they dominate conversations to stay in the spotlight, frequently brag about their successes and possessions, and may dismiss or belittle others’ achievements.
When handling criticism, narcissists react defensively to any form of criticism, may retaliate against those who criticize them, and deny any faults or mistakes.
4. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Sense of Entitlement
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Narcissists believe they deserve special treatment and often have unreasonable expectations of others. They have unrealistic expectations of friends and partners, become impatient when their needs aren’t immediately met, and their relationships are often conditional to others meeting their needs.
In the professional environment, narcissists expect preferential treatment at work, make unreasonable demands on colleagues and subordinates, and believe rules don’t apply to them. In social interactions, they behave as if they are more important than others, expect to be favored in social settings, and take advantage of others’ kindness and generosity.
Within family dynamics, narcissists may expect to be the favored child, foster rivalry to assert their superiority, and ignore family boundaries and norms. In public behavior, they cut lines, expect immediate service, make excessive demands in customer service situations, and show little respect for authority figures.
5. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Manipulativeness
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Narcissists often use manipulation to control and exploit others for their own benefit. Gaslighting is a common tactic where they distort facts to make others question their reality, undermine others’ confidence in their perceptions, and shift blame to avoid responsibility.
Emotionally, they play the victim to gain sympathy and control, use guilt to manipulate others into compliance, and withdraw affection to punish and control.
Professionally, they undermine colleagues to get ahead, steal credit for others’ work, and engage in office politics to manipulate outcomes.
Socially, narcissists use excessive flattery to win people over, play people against each other to create conflict, and exploit others’ weaknesses for their gain.
Financially, they control joint finances to assert power, make others financially dependent on them, and withhold resources to control behavior.
6. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Lack of Accountability
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Narcissists often refuse to take responsibility for their actions, blaming others instead. Personally, they deflect blame onto others, make excuses for their behavior, and minimize the impact of their actions.
Professionally, they blame others for project failures, avoid blame at all costs, and take credit for others’ successes. Socially, they frequently break promises without remorse, rarely apologize for their actions, and change the narrative to avoid responsibility.
Within the family, narcissists blame their children for their parenting failures, their spouse for marital issues, and avoid responsibility in sibling conflicts.
Financially, they blame others for financial problems, deny responsibility for accumulating debt, and blame others for failed investments.
7. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Envy and Jealousy
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Narcissists are often envious of others and believe that others are envious of them. In personal relationships, they view friendships as competitions, become jealous of their partner’s achievements, and are envious of others’ success and happiness.
In the professional environment, they foster rivalry with colleagues, undermine others’ success to feel superior, and are jealous of colleagues’ promotions.
Socially, they feel the need to keep up appearances, are envious of others’ material possessions, and are envious of others’ social status and influence.
Within family dynamics, they foster rivalry among siblings, are jealous of siblings receiving parental approval, and may be jealous of their in-laws’ relationships.
Publicly, they are envious of others receiving public recognition, feel competitive at social events, and are jealous of others’ standing in the community.
8. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Preoccupation with Fantasies
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Narcissists often have grandiose fantasies about their success, power, brilliance, or ideal love. Personally, they spend a lot of time daydreaming about their success, set unrealistic goals based on their fantasies, and are often disappointed when reality doesn’t match their fantasies.
Professionally, they have grandiose career ambitions, engage in risky business ventures based on fantasies, and believe they are destined for great leadership roles.
Romantically, they have unrealistic expectations of romantic partners, believe in the fantasy of a perfect love story, and are often disappointed in real relationships.
Socially, they fantasize about achieving high social status, believe they have or will have great social influence, and fantasize about being widely popular and admired.
Within the family, they fantasize about creating a grand family legacy, have unrealistic expectations for their children’s achievements, and strive to create the image of a perfect family.
9. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Exploitativeness
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Narcissists often exploit others to achieve their own ends, with little regard for the consequences. Personally, they take advantage of friends and family, manipulate others’ emotions for personal gain, and frequently violate personal boundaries.
Professionally, they manipulate colleagues to get ahead, hoard resources and information, and engage in power plays to dominate others.
Socially, they use social connections for personal gain, manipulate networking situations to their advantage, and frequently demand favors without reciprocating.
Financially, they manipulate others financially, withhold financial resources to control others, and create debt for others to exploit them financially.
Within the family, they manipulate parents for financial or emotional support, exploit siblings for their own benefit, and may exploit their children’s achievements for their own gain.
10. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Superficial Charm
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Narcissists often have a superficial charm that draws people in, masking their true intentions. Initially, they make great first impressions with their charm, are skilled smooth talkers, and create an appealing persona to attract others.
Romantically, they are initially charming and attentive partners, creating strong early attraction, but their charm often lacks depth.
Socially, they often act as the life of the party, are engaging storytellers, but their interactions often remain superficial.
Professionally, they charm colleagues and superiors, use charm in negotiations, and maintain a charming facade to hide flaws. Within the family, they are often the charming child, use charm to manipulate parents, and their family bonds often remain superficial.
11. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Arrogance and Dominance
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Narcissists display arrogance and a need to dominate others in various aspects of life. Personally, they belittle others to feel superior, dominate conversations, and need to control situations and people.
Professionally, they micromanage colleagues, dismiss others’ ideas and contributions, and engage in power struggles. Socially, they seek to control social groups, may engage in bullying behavior, and exclude others to maintain dominance.
Within the family, they adopt a domineering parenting style, dominate sibling relationships, and seek to control their spouse.
Publicly, they make public displays of dominance, challenge authority figures, and create and enforce social hierarchies.
12. 12 Traits of a Narcissist: Unreliable and Untrustworthy
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Narcissists often exhibit unreliable and untrustworthy behavior, making them difficult to depend on. Personally, they frequently break promises, have a plethora of excuses for why they couldn’t follow through, and their inability to keep promises erodes trust in the relationship.
Financially, they may have a history of unstable financial practices, engage in reckless spending, and often borrow money without the intention of repaying it.
Professionally, they frequently miss deadlines, leave projects unfinished, and their unreliability makes them poor team players.
Socially, they may spread gossip, betray confidences, act friendly while undermining others behind their backs, and share personal information that was shared with them in confidence.
Within the family, they are unreliable parents, failing to fulfill their parental responsibilities, their actions often lead to broken or strained family relationships, and they can be the sibling who always lets the family down.
How to Identify and Deal with Narcissistic Behavior
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Narcissists sound like wonderful people don’t they (sarcastically speaking)? Identifying narcissistic behavior early can save you from emotional distress and help you navigate your relationships more effectively.
Trust your instincts when you notice red flags, such as excessive need for admiration or lack of empathy, and look for consistent patterns of narcissistic traits rather than isolated incidents. Setting boundaries is crucial; clearly define what behaviors you will and won’t tolerate, communicate your boundaries assertively, and be prepared to enforce consequences if boundaries are crossed.
Avoid engagement with narcissists; limit your interaction to avoid getting drawn into their manipulations, avoid arguing as they often twist your words, and focus on your own well-being rather than trying to change the narcissist. Seek support from trusted friends and family, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor, and join support groups where you can share experiences and get advice from others who understand.
Know when to walk away; regularly evaluate whether the relationship is healthy for you, prioritize your own mental and emotional health, and be prepared to end the relationship if the narcissistic behavior becomes too damaging.
Understanding the 12 Traits of a Narcissist and how to identify narcissistic behavior is crucial for maintaining your emotional well-being. Narcissists can be charming and captivating, but their behaviors can also be toxic and damaging.
By recognizing these traits and taking actionable steps, you can protect yourself and foster healthier relationships. Remember, setting boundaries and seeking support are key to dealing with narcissistic individuals. Trust your instincts and prioritize your own well-being above all else.
Resources
- Mayo Clinic – Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- Psychology Today – Narcissism
- National Institute of Mental Health – Personality Disorders
- American Psychological Association – Understanding Narcissism
- Support Groups – Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
By understanding these traits and how to handle them, you can navigate relationships with narcissists more effectively and maintain your emotional health.
My Book Recommendations:
Wacko Men to Avoid Dating: A Relationship Guide for Women
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Single on Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself
Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
Disclaimers:
The information provided in this article is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as professional relationship advice. Always consult with your therapist or a qualified mental health professional for guidance on your specific situation. The content in this blog should not be used as a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
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