Women’s body shapes and sizes are constantly criticized and scrutinized under a microscope. When people think of female supermodels, they often think of women who are rail thin and look like someone should be rushing over to them, insisting they eat a few of the greasiest, fat-saturated double cheeseburgers, washed down with the thickest, most calorie-rich milkshakes they could find – anything to pack on a few pounds on those pencil-thin frames.
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On the flip side of things, women who are morbidly obese are often looked upon in equal disgust, by widespread critics. They are often judged, being called lazy, pigs, and other horrific, insensitive names. They’re commonly criticized for just letting themselves go.
Fat or skinny, athletic, or frumpy, way too often, women just can’t seem to catch a break when it comes to sizing up every inch of their bodies. This obsession often trickles over into relationships, in very unhealthy, toxic ways.
Introducing the “He-Feels-Insecure-Because-You-Lost-Weight-And-Is-Therefore-Threatening-To-Break-Up-With-You-Wacko”
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Meet Jane Doe and Joe Blow, fictional, yet realistic characters I’ll be referencing throughout this article. They’ve been dating each other for about a year, now. Jane Doe has struggled with her weight, ever since her childhood. Her boyfriend, Joe Blow, was thoroughly aware of her ongoing struggle with her weight, but seemed to have been perfectly ok with her having a few extra pounds and love handles.
One day at a doctor’s visit, Jane Doe received some very unfavorable news about her health. She was told that her cholesterol and blood pressure were sky-high, amongst other health issues, such as diabetes.
The doctor informed Jane Doe that she was forced to have to put her on meds to treat these conditions. Jane was pretty distraught and overwhelmed by this news. She asked the doctor if there was anything she could do to improve her health, and possibly be able to get off her meds in the future.
The doctor recommended that she do at least 30 minutes of light exercise a day and that she change her diet to a predominantly plant-based diet. Jane agreed. She was ready and willing to do whatever was necessary to improve her health.
As Jane followed the doctor’s recommendations, and week after week went by, she noticed that her clothes were beginning to fit more loosely on her. She was pleased to see that she was losing weight!
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Jane reported back to the doctor, who was elated to inform her that her blood pressure and cholesterol were back within normal range and that she was no longer classified as obese! Jane was so happy, she could do a backflip!
It was Tuesday, the day Jane was supposed to pick up her boyfriend, Joe from the airport. He had been gone on a long business trip for 6 weeks. As soon as Joe got in car, Jane noticed a surprisingly serious look on Joe’s face. She asked him what his problem was. He didn’t seem that enthused to see her, again.
With the same serious look on his face, Joe told Jane she looked a lot different than she did when she dropped him off at the airport, six weeks prior. Jane asked what he meant by that. He immediately pointed out that he could see that she had lost a significant amount of weight, within a short period of time.
Jane was excited that he noticed since she had been working so diligently to get her weight down, yet still feeling a little confused as to why he looked so serious, rather than elated and happy for her.
She asked her boyfriend why he didn’t seem too happy about his observation. He sat silent for a while, then finally stated that he liked her better with more weight on her.
Jane was very surprised to be getting this reaction out of him, then explained to him that her weight loss helped to improve her overall health. She went on to explain she no longer had diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol, just knowing he would at least be excited about those things.
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Again, to her surprise, Joe responded unenthusiastically, stating it was good that those things improved, but he still liked her better with more weight.
Jane pulled over into a nearby parking lot, so she could look her boyfriend in the eyes while they spoke. She asked him if he woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning or something and what the real problem really was.
Joe finally got to the heart of the matter and told Jane that he didn’t want other men to be hitting on her, now that she lost weight and looked better to him. His insecurities were really starting to show.
Jane was just flabbergasted! She couldn’t believe that her boyfriend was more concerned about other men being interested in her than he was about her great health report. This was a side of her boyfriend that she had never seen, before. Why was he being such a jerk?
Joe went on to threaten to end his relationship with Jane, she did not gain her weight back. Jane was so disgusted and turned off by this! The conversation had gotten heated, to the point of screaming and shouting at each other.
Jane realized she did not deserve this level of stress, especially over something this ridiculous! She took it upon herself to end the relationship.
Takeaways:
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The previous scenario painted a very ugly, but amazingly often realistic picture! When the person you’re with can’t even be happy for you when you hit milestones of health improvement, because of their own insecurities or need to control you, these are certainly signs of a toxic relationship!
No one deserves to be treated this way! Remember your self-worth and know that you do not have to remain in such a unhealthy relationship. Too often, a person who shows such red flags progressively gets worse with time, not better. Do yourself a favor and sever your ties with this wacko!
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